bLoWn... ...aLmOsT

It all began about 2 years or 3 years ago....


A phone call, phone calls, reflections, questions, company, disappointment...
Oh... family, church, friends then disappointment


Not mine, yours... Its sad cos. I have a feeling you're trying to rub it in, are you?
Thats REAL mature...

I know, I know I can be soooooooo clandestine & elusive sometimes.... I don't even know how to react to this, I have 2 be sure first what exactly is going on, not like I'll spend sleepless nights trying to figure it out - NOPE! I'll wait till you're tired of errrrrrr... beating about the bush and acting confused.

"I still don't want it. you. them... Not the way you think, Not at all... Don't make it worse for yourself. Really. Stop flashing your green light, I'm not interested.
Here's what you're doing: you're "innocently" doing "these things", then saying something else. Quite unfortunately, you're pulling my Daddy into it. You seem REALLLLLLLY confused, when I act normal, you act like I'm acting abnormal reminding me of the other things you're saying, not the things you're doing. Am I making sense?"
Do you have something to say to me? If you do frikking spill it out! I have a very good mind of telling you what I really want to, but I don't want to hurt your feelings.... again.

So, I'm venting because of ALLLL the B.S you've shoved in my face in form of your "good intentions" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SO CALLED GOOD INTENTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I have made some decisions... very important, maybe rash decisions.... unfortunately against you...

Maybe I'm being dramatic, maybe its hard to believe the "innocence" of your gestures considering they began after the initial accost... Now you've got my family involved... you know, its not normal for them (other contenders are VERY familiar with the end point of over familiarity - its never an issue, because they know how far they should go. Do you?)
Anyway, its not normal for them, hence its hard for me to explain to them and now to myself. I should congratulate you though, the buried questions from '04 or '05 have reared their ugly heads a couple of times this year... thanks buddie, you've done it again....

One of my decisions is I'm NOT going to let you intimidate me, confuse me or make me ask myself questions... you don't deserve that time of day! U don't. U don't. U don't!!!!

(Deep breathe... Have a wonderful week guys!)