SWEET RELIEF....complete?

Since Tuesday, I've "not been myself". Tried to shake it off but it became NAGGING!!!
I finally figured it out! I mean, I had to literally analyze what changed in my life, when THIS feeling started, What triggered it?

I REALLY analyzed everything from the prayers I said in the morning, to what I read in the Bible, to what I ATE, what I watched, who I talked to, what I listened to, what I was supposed to do, but didn't do, EVERYTHING!

Then when I thought I had it, I was relieved, BUT had to verify that it was truly it. Unfortunately, it wasn't what I thought it was. I felt bad cos. I had acted on my judgement. When I thought things were getting better, they got worse. I had another round of a personal scrutiny on me, my life, my spirituality, my surroundings.

I FINALLY have it! I verified and I'm NOT psychotic!! Its real. I don't know if I should do anything about it just yet. Is it something I can grow to ignore or something that bothers me SOOOO deeply. I guess we'll find out. I don't know if I feel like dealing with it now, cos. I'm not sure what the outcome will be. Don't get me wrong, I ain't never scared

Will the results be worth it though? You know how I HATE to make people sad or mad or uncomfortable. Then again, I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strenght. Is it important to me to air this out, is it important to my conscience, my surroundings? cos. I know, its not all about me... really.

Not that I'm bothered, but what should I do? I'll pray about it but gimme ur two cents please?

We'll see sha, make we sidon look @ how stuvs is gonna unfold

BiAfRa....land of my Fathers!!!

Notice the title says, "land of my Fathers"I am not trying to explain the reason why I love Igbo land so much or why I still rep Biafra. I am clarifying, almost, where I stand politically (apparently putting a Biafran Flag on my Hi5 and facebook pages is a political statement). I love the idea of one nation joined by mostly economic ideas of prosperity. I love the idea of different cultures fused into a melting pot.

I love the idea of heavy white influence on economic, social, and political (very important) decisions in a nation. I truly love the variety and confusion brought by different values and beliefs. I love the idea of One Nigeria.

The problem only starts when nepotism (or the appearance of it) becomes the order of the day; when some people begin to feel like they are treated unfairly; when the ego of a man is shoved to a hard wall, when a "nation" goes to war, fighting for "the future of their children", what they believe is right, fighting for power to be in power; when men become cowards and betray other men; when the war turns disastrous; when people die, a death that was worth it OR not.

In my opinion, the idea of Biafra was great, still is. (MY OPINION) The idea of Nigeria is great too. A free, fair and faithful Nigeria. A Nigeria that understands different people's characters, a greed and betrayal free Nigeria, A Nigeria that fears God immensely and promotes love not favoritism. A Nigeria that makes room for everyone's qualities - good and bad. A Nigeria that really and truly cares. An unselfish Nigeria.

In all this, I WILL rever the people who died trying to do good for me, trying to save me from where we are now, or not... I'll say again, the idea of Biafra sounds good. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder what it would have been like if they won the war. As silly as this may sound to anyone reading it, we could settle for what we have in Nigeria, we could look at our options, we could keep fighting and hating on each other and I could keep repping my consolation that sth better could have been - Biafra!

About Marriage...

More from Fire Conference. This is the JUICY part.... for all the marriage candidates & hopefuls...

Proverbs 30:18

Where the devil started to MESS, (with the union of man & woman ~ Adam & Eve) thats where Jesus started to BLESS (His first miracle was the WEDDING at Cana in Galilee)

There are FIVE things that will make a marriage great.

- FOUNDATION Psalm 11:3
Marry the right person. Don't marry a man because he has television, marry him because he has a VISION; Follow your conviction. Make sure you are LED by God, the Spirit of God.
You must discover your purpose before you discover your partner. Anybody not going your DIRECTION is a DISTRACTION! Marriage is a CONVENANT not a CONTRACT! In marriage, you've got to Watch & Pray.
TRUST is an important part of the solid foundation. Forgiveness can come in an instant, trust takes a WHILE to build. One of the things that does not allow people to trust each other is if they were fornicating before marriage.

- COMMUNICATION 1st Corin. 14:7-9
Communication is NOT what you say to a person, but what the person you're talking to understands. when you stop communicating, you grow apart. The Husband and Wife should have a CONVENANT to KEEP TALKING!! No matter what.

- LOVE 1st Corin. 13, Eph. 5, Titus 2:4
Husbands and wives should love theirselves. Women should be FRIENDS with their husbands. Men should love their wives as Christ loved His church. Love GIVES & SACRIFICES. Its NOT an action, its a reaction.
There are five ways people believe to show love (Love Language).
GIVING, SERVICE, WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, SPENDING QUALITY TIME, PHYSICAL TOUCH.

Find out your love interest's love language. Love is an ACCOUNT, you have to KEEP IT FILLED. Gen. 1:12
The SEED of everthing is in its self. When someone plants a negative seed, KILL IT! Matt. 6 Prove to be superior by not reactive. Don't let anyone make you give what you don't have.
What usually causes trouble is "Irreconciliable differences"

Opposites attract, then it could start to disturb, but then you endure, then start to enjoy, celebrate each other & exchange these innnate qualities

- FIGHT Neh. 4:14
Fight for your marriage, for your relationships...

FiRe CoNfErEnCe!!

Something G R E A T happened in my life today, I'm very EXCITED!!! That God just did ALL of this and then its culmination today! The final deal is in the works, It may take a while but it WILL come to pass.

I've got SOOO much to thank God for guys, I really do and I'm ULTIMATELY thankful!!! Words cannot express.

I want to share God's numerous miracles in my life since the past week, but I have sth a lil' more pressing to share.
Notes from a recent event held at my church ~ House of Praise, Baltimore. We had a three-day Fire Conference, Rev. Femi Oduwole ministered on Friday, Saturday & Sunday. It was power, praise and prayer packed. It was really fun. I've lost my voice but its worth it...

FRIDAY - DAY ONE
Topic: Hold on! Help IS ON THE WAY
Texts: Matt. 15: 21-28, Isaiah 50:7

This is a proclamative prayer -
"Because the Lord is my help. I will NOT be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a flint and I know I will NOT be put to shame."

Never discourage a man walking / working in faith. Never say anything is impossible, even after you try. Vain is the help of man Psalm 60:11, never put your trust in the arm of flesh 2nd Kings 6:26, 2nd chron. 14:11 One with God is a majority Ezekiel 21:26-27

"Don't marry location, marry destination." Don't marry a man because of where he is but b/c of where he's going." 1st John 1:2, Psa. 20:2, 46:1, 70:1, 121:1, Acts 26:22, Heb. 2:16
When a man receives the help of God, he goes from "who are you?" to "how are you?"
The power of God has MAGNITUDE but NO DIRECTION, anybody can tap into the power of God without permission.

"It does not matter what is the matter, I will matter where it matters."

There are THREE ACTS of worship that will provoke the help of God.
- SING Exo. 15:21, Psa. 42:5, Isaiah 54:1, Job 35:9, Prov. 24:10
Worshipping God brings joy Neh 8:10, Joel 1:9-12
Its not because things are not working out, that you don't have joy; because you don't have joy, thats why things are not working out.

-SERVE Job 36:11, Psa. 35:27, Daniel 3, Acts 27, Joshua 24
There is a confidence and sagacity that comes with someone who serves God. Ask yourself, am I useful to God? Am I sure that I am perfoming to my full capacity? Exo. 23:25
Mala. 3:4 When your service to God is THAT important, God makes sure you're always okay so that His business will continue through you. It is always the most useless person that people get rid of first.

- SACRIFICE Matt. 6, Gen. 22:25
If you follow God, the world will follow you. A worshipper does not come back empty-handed. Psa. 50:5 Sacrifice normalizes convenant. Isa. 53:4

Stay tuned for DAY TWO & THREE

...TiReD!

I'm TIRED of being the first and only person to call.
I'm TIRED of wandering what's up and what's not
I'm TIRED of having to figure things out
I'm REALLY tired of being alone in my "enthusion"
I'm tired of not knowing what I'm REALLY tired of
I'm tired of being unwilling to remedy my tiredness
I'm tired of not trying to remedy my tiredness
I'm tired of not knowing what to do to remedy my tiredness
I'm tired of deadlines, meeting places, meeting times, perspectives, ideas
I'm tired of age-old stories, same theme, same people, same issue
I'm tired of fighting worldiness - thoughts, people, places
I'm tired of THINKING about the future
I'm tired of wondering when IT will happen
I'm tired of imagining the worst, of being optimistic w/out result
I'm tired of feeling like I HAVE to please everybody
I'm tired of NOT even knowing how NOT to please everybody!
I'm TIRED of being soooo UNSURE, almost INSECURE
I'm tired of hearing you talk to me about YOURSELF, what you have, what I don't and what I CLEARLY do NOT want!!
I'm really T I R E D...............................

sLeEpLeSs WeEkEnD!!

I'm NOT even gonna front, its BEEN A WHILE!!!
Gosh, the other day, I typed up a LONG-ASS blog and then smn had 2 check sth on d pc, real quick...then poof, everything I typed was gone!!!! You can imagine how mad I was. I was updating my readers on my eventual trip 2 Sam's Club (the grocery store)
Generally, it was a FUN trip with me, Nenz, Yinkz and Neef.

Over this past weekend, I attended my FIRST OFFICIAL PARTY!! It was in this Japanese Steak Out called GINZA, somewhere in Owings Mills. My paddy, Uche had a party cos. she turned 21 this month. GOSH, eveything about dt joint was sooooo DRAMATIC!!!
First off, Madam Uche came up with this color code: Brown & Gold, I mean, those are my colors but I didn't have anything 2 wear soooo I, Yinkz, Nenz, A.J and Uche took a trip 2 d mall at White Marsh. Yinkz had a bad headache, and I had stuvs 2 do but we HAD 2 go find outfits, well I had 2....

So after three or so precious hours of searching.... my efforts almost proved futile except I found a pair of cute jeans from Macy's and a pair of cute brown peep toes from Journeys. I forgot the jeans at Journeys, didn't realize until I got home....

Well, so we had our laughs, jokes, long-awaited-unexpected phone calls, vexes, attitudeS and all the stuv u get when FOUR girls r in the mall 2gether (A.J left early). The day finally ended.
DAY 2! Friday~the D-DAY!! Went to school as usual, almost got in trouble with me boss cos. I was late, cos. I was tryna figure out my outfit for later, Yinkz said 2 go back 4 d jeans, so we hit d road again got in traffic, eventually got 2 d mall, picked up d jeans....and I wanted 2 go 2 Giant 2 pick up some fruit so we did and then we wanted dinner so we went 2 KFC, guess who we saw!!!!! My older sister's BOYFRIEND!!!! He sponsored us mehn, homeboy is just piling UP BLESSINGS for himself!!!
Was almost 7:30pm, had 2 be in church for 8pm - Youth Choir Practice. Was there till 10:30. Rushed home after, took a shower, dressed up........
I wore this gold / black Bebe top my sister's boyfriend got me, (I had never worn it bcos of lack of occasion), a pair of long black pants, and my new brown peep toes. I wore some eye make up, lip gloss and I looked in the mirror... HOTNESS!!!

I was REALLY excited and I wasn't so sure how much fun I'd have, really didn't care. I was mostly thinking about d food and suya at the party.
The joint was fun, I guess. I didn't know many of the songs they played but the company & the food was GREAT!!!
Was it worth all the stress? I guess...Cos it was all for Uche. BUT I lost soooooo much sleep!!
This week, I'm working on getting it ALL back....

Meanwhile, Youth Conference was on Sunday, It was the BOMB...I may blog about it later. We have a FIRE CONFERENCE at my church tho' starting on this Friday, I'm sooooo looking 4ward 2 it...