My TeStImOnY!!

There was a time when I used to struggle (concerning certain issues) with the lil' green eyed monster Ugo once blogged about...

It was a terrible period.
I prayed and prayed and prayed for it to go away, it seemed like it never would
Me
Being the ever supportive, guiding, listening light;
All around me failed to see the darkness that was eating from within
Oh, I suffered incredulously
You suffered too,
Only you didn't notice cos the green eyed monster wasn't yours to fight

Finally,
I detached myself
unconsciously first, then mentally, physically
Enough to admit
that this wasn't the me I wanted to be

It was confusing, I tell you...
The time when the monster would rear its ugly head
It was a confusing situation
Because he would force me to question -
the lives of my colleagues, contemporaries
As if we were born on the same day
As if our destinies are to compete
he forced me to place myself on a level so low
A facade of a pedestal of where I ought to be -
emotionally, and financially, and mentally, and socially, and ...


Today, I testify that I'm -
F.R.E.E
Free of the nagging ugly fellow
telling me to weigh, compare, contrast and --
Lapse into a momentary state of "un-nwando-ness"

I am F.R.E.E
because I am basking in contentment
As warm as I want it to be
I know I am in control
Because
I am not fidgeting
Not twisting my fingers or stammering
Not irritated at the sound of his laugh, her squeal
Not dealing with that old be-S

I am F.R.E.E
to stand, scrutinize, love, laugh, suggest
I am F.R.E.E enough to
be considerate, unselfish, genuine, unhateful, true
F.R.E.E enough to be conscious enough to
help you - who needs to hear my Testimony...